


The Panic

by HeyxItsxAli



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Age Regression, Age Regression/De-Aging, CGLRE, Fluff, How Do I Tag, Little!Alex, Multi, Non-Sexual Age Play, Nonbinary Character, Nonbinary Marquis de Lafayette, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Panic Attacks, Polyamory, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Suspense, Trans Character, Trans John Laurens, little! alex, non sexual, secret, sexualities not defined
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-10
Updated: 2018-07-03
Packaged: 2019-05-04 23:21:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 3,844
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14603946
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HeyxItsxAli/pseuds/HeyxItsxAli
Summary: Alexander has a panic attack at college. His partners try to help him. A secret gets revealed.This is based on a prompt that my English teacher gave me. Sorry if its short, I'm not that good at writing.





	1. Chapter 1

Alexander was diagnosed with PTSD shortly after his 18th birthday. It was often enough times easy for him to control - except in storms. 

He had a rough upbringing and due to the lack of parents, he was sleeping on the streets when one of the most merciless hurricanes passed through his small hometown. 

When his partners realised a storm was going to be passing through they tried to prepare. They grabbed food, fresh water, batteries, extra lights, hell even Disney movies to keep Alex calm. However the storm was more relentlessly rapid than they had expected. It took only 5 minutes for the storm to move in, and replace the high summers sky with what could be considered the depths of winter.

Alexander was in one of his law classes, fighting with Thomas, when he first caught wind of the storm. Running from the seminar, he tried find one of his partners; hopefully John, he was the best at distracting. 

He wasn't even sure if he found anyone. He felt the softness underneath him, the rain smashing against the clear glass, the warmth that sat beside him. 

How did he get here?

He noticed how he was hyperventilating. He was unable to keep the air in his lungs for long enough. He was drowning in his own panic. 

Quite murmuring pulled him out of the murky depths. At first he was unsure of what the voice was actually saying, it took him more than a minute to comprehend that one of his lovers was counting to ten and back in French. In his dazed mind he failed to pin point that it was indeed Lafayette; he was the only other person in the small group to speak French fluently. 

Leaning into the soothing words he tried to relax, somehow the panic he felt was still at the forefront of his mind.


	2. Chapter 2

Alexander was acutely aware that they had arrived at home. He felt someone reach underneath him, picking him up bridal style; he couldn't find the energy to care. Feeling softness beneath him and the lack of warmth beside him alerted him to the oblivious fact that he was being placed on the sofa in the living room. He had been left in the room alone for a short while, so the others could get the emergency supplies they had arranged previously.

He knew, somewhere in his panicked mind, that this was unnecessary. The panic he was feeling was something that was utterly unwarranted. A heavy weight flopped down onto his shoulders and a warm mug was placed into his hands. Hearing the quite buzz of the TV in the background, he lifted his head. Lafayette was in front of him, talking. What he was saying was practically a mystery to him, yet he found himself breathing in sync with the words that were graciously leaving his lovers lips. Some short minutes later, Alexander was feeling remarkably calm. 

Not aware that he had brought his fingers to his mouth, was what shocked him the most in that moment. After removing his fingers and whipping off any saliva that had collected onto them onto his jeans unceremoniously, he looked around and took in his surroundings. He was in the living room, a Disney movie playing on the TV they had positioned in the corner - the little mermaid to be specific, his favourite - everyone was sat around the room. John and Hercules were snuggled up on the opposing couch. Lafayette was sat next to him, a look of concern etched into their features. 

He was slowly coming back to reality. Taking a sip from his coffee - which he realised he had just before he saw what movie was playing - he turned to Lafayette. Opening his mouth to speak, nothing came out. 

It was official. He had slipped into little space. 

Reaching out for the closest person, he willed for himself to not start randomly babbling for someone to care for him or for them to grab his little supplies, his sippy cup, paci, stuffies, etc. Thankfully, all he did was whine, catching the attention of all of the people in the room. In a fraction of a second he was swamped my three pairs of arms grabbing him from a manor of different directions. A sigh of content escaped from his lips and he finally felt completely relaxed since the start of the storm. He could defiantly take a nap like this. His amazing plans were quickly foiled. 

"Alexander, are you ok? Is there anything you need?" was the only question he could accurately make out. He believes that Hercules was the one to pose the questions. Flinching at the use of his big name he tried to reply coherently. 

"'m tired.... Can I has some coco milk?" Alex replied in the smallest of voices. 

His lovers were astonished. They of course still complied. No one could resit Alex when he looked this cute. Although they need to have a serious conversation with him when this whole thing had blown over. 

Being given the chocolate milk seemed to Alex like he was being rewarded for something. One of the largest smiles graced his face, making it radiate and seemed to bring a positive glow to the room the previously wasn't there. 

For once he let himself indulge in the feeling of being little with out the monumental guilt plaguing his every thought. He also allowed himself to be looked after by his loves, just this once.


	3. Chapter 3

One of his favourite things to do in little space is to watch Disney movies, sucking on a paci while holding his favourite stuffie – not that he would mention that to his other stuffies to avoid making them jealous. He was currently holding a glass of chocolate milk, leaning into the embrace of his boyfriends and nonbianry partner.    
   
He was completely unaware that he was mumbling for his favourite stuffie, so when John asked him about what a stuffie was, he was completely shocked.     
   
“It’s umm...” trying to reply, Alex found himself speechless. Hercules seemed to understand his awkwardness and clocked onto what Alex was talking about. He got up, heading to Alex’s office to receive the Shiba-Inu teddy that they had won at an arcade a couple weeks after they added Alex to their relationship. When he came back in with the prized item, Alex immediately reached out, making grabby hands towards the soft being. Hercules walked back to the trio, gave the shiba to Alex and resumed his previous spot hugging Alex.    
   
Alex snuggled himself further into the other three, accepting the stuffie with open arms. Despite being deep in little headspace, he kept thinking about how he was going to explain all of this to the others. That was a conversation that was going to have to happen later. Much later.    
   
“Hey Alexander?” John spoke up unexpectedly.    
   
“Yeah…?” Alex tried to appear big. It didn’t work.    
   
“What is all of…this?” Maybe the conversation would have to be sooner than later. Alex let out a small huff, got up and trudge to his room. There was no way he would be able to explain this to them without the help of his phone/laptop, whichever he grabbed first. He ended up grabbing them both, unplugging them from their chargers. Shuffling back to the living room, he sat separate from his partners, scared of their reaction. Handing over his phone that showed his little Instagram and his laptop that showed the Tumblr equivalent, he prayed that it would end well. He gave them a few minutes for them to read over the multitude of posts and captions. Giving them the chance to understand.    
   
When they looked up, Alex had stood up, pacing whiling biting on his fingers. Hercules was the first one to stand up and embrace Alex.  Hercules was the self proclaimed "mom friend". At the feeling of the embrace, Alex almost burst into tears. He was one of those people that felt like he never truly had the support system that he wanted, the main reason he regresses. He felt 2 mores pairs of arms surround him. Short, quiet whispers filled his ears, words of encouragement and love filled him with more emotion than he could bear. He finally allowed to flood gates to open, salty tears fell down his soft cheeks as he was overwhelmed with the loving support. 

He felt a pair of arms pick him up, again for what felt like the tenth time that day. He snuggled himself as close to the warm body as he could, finally allowed himself to sleep.


	4. Chapter 4

When Alexander woke up in the morning he was back to his usual big self. He tried to sit up, but got caught up in the monumental amount of arms that were coincidently holding him down. This was a normal occurrence in the mornings, something his partners had developed to stop Alexander immediately jumping into his work first thing in the morning and continue doing that all day. He lied down, accepting his "unfortunate" fate. He allowed himself to think of the previous night. All of his partners offering to help him while he was in little space. The amount of support and love that he had received completely shocked and bewildered him. 

Shifting onto his side, he tried to reach for his phone, of course he was graced with short arms in comparison to his partners, and was unable to reach his phone by a couple of centimetres. If only one of his lovers were to wake up. Not that he purposely wanted to wake them up, he knew how difficult he could get while in little space, especially after he had concealed it during their entire relationship. 

Relaxing back into his lovers arms, he gave up trying to reach for his phone. He thought of things they could all do together, bearing in mind that they may not actually like helping him while he's in little space. Feeling an ounce of doubt on his mind opened up all of his "small" anxieties. What if they put on an act like he did for awhile? What if they see him as a burden but don't want to tell him?

Sinking further into the many arms the enveloped him made him slightly better. Rationally, there was no reason for them to dislike him for this. They were all positive people that were very accepting. Always putting him before themselves. The feeling of one of his partners stirring brought him back to the comfortable reality. Seeing one of his partners arise tugged the littleness that was burrowing inside him to the surface. Hercules stood from the bed and was about to head to the their cosy en-suite bathroom when he saw a little Alex make grabby hands for him in the corner of his eye. Sleep still making him groggy, he shuffled over to the small being, picking him up - as well as his Alex's and his own phones - and taking him down to the well decorated kitchen. 

Setting Alex on the counter opposite the oven, he prepared to make waffles or pancakes - whichever Alex preferred that morning. 

"Which do you want this morning Alex, pancakes or waffles?" Hercules asked, turning to the little to get his opinion. 

"'affles!" Hercules could see genuine excitement in Alex's eyes, something that hardly ever reared its head. He turned back to the batter that he was stirring, a smile large on his face. Hearing Alex's phone bleep made him step away from the waffles to check it. Thomas Jefferson had messaged him. Completely disregarding why Thomas had Alex's number, he read the message.

-Hey, I was forced to check in with you. So, hamilshit, how are you?-

Hercules replied in the kindest way he could.

-Hey, this is Hercules. Alexander is doing well, thanks for the concern.-

Putting the phone down, he finished plating all of the waffles, picking Alex back up after putting the plates on a tray that John demanded that they buy, he walked upstairs. Setting the tray on one of the bed side table he whispered in Alex's ear a plan that would certainly wake the others up. 

Alex clambered onto the bed, and all over his loving partners. Laying down over their chests, he leant over to kiss both of their faces. The first to wake up was Lafayette, who woke with a laugh, embracing Alex in the biggest bear hug they could achieve. The last to wake was John. Waking up groggy left him confused as to what was exactly going on. Trying to sit up left him even more confused than he was previously. After closing his eyes for a short minute, he was ready to face the day. He hugged Alex close, asking what breakfast was. Flinching when Alex practically shouted "'affles!" in his ear, he sat up, gave everyone a kiss and swiftly grabbed his waffles from the tray. 

The rest of the morning was spent creating pillow forts, watching only the best Disney movies (aka; all of them) and snuggling as close to the little as possible. They wanted to remove any doubt that Alexander may feel about his littleness. They were determined to prove that this was something they would gladly accept into their everyday lives.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is my longest chapter yet and I'm rather proud of it for some reason.


	5. Chapter 5

Monday came around rather quickly. Alexander and Lafayette were the only ones that had class that day. John and Hercules had a plan. they would have to buy Alex as much little stuff as possible, within a restricted price range of course. most of the stuff they would have to purchase online, such as adult pacis and the such, but some of the simpler things they could buy in ordinary shops. Sippy cups and leisure activities such as colouring books, crayons, etc. they bought the cutest things in the store and were genuinely surprised when they didn't receive strange looks from other costumers and staff. 

Arriving home, they stored all of the supplies they bought in person in a container that perfectly fit in the corner of their walk in closet, under all of Alexander's clothes. They chose to put the sippy cups in the cupboard, on the top shelf to avoid people that came to visit from discovering them. they were prepared for Alex to come home, expecting him to slip just before the end of all of the classes or just as he got home. Hopefully he would slip, the innocents in his eyes and the pure joy they saw on his face was something that initially surprised his partners but they very quickly found themselves being overjoyed when Alexander slipped and showed true happiness. Sitting on the couch, they had both snuggled together while pretending to watch whatever movie was on the screen. Within a few short minutes, the pair were blissfully asleep.

Opening the door, Lafayette led Alex through the door way. It was at the start of lunch when Lafayette had noticed that Alexander was slipping into his littler headspace. His eyes became unfocused, he started chewing on his fingers - despite the warning from Lafayette that they probably had lots of germs on them. They fished through their bag in search of the small stuffie they had packed the night before, in preparation for incase Alexander slipped. After a short rummage they found what they were looking for. They attempted to grab their littles attention, Alex's head shot up when he saw the small stuffie the Lafayette was holding in front of him. He reached over the table for the stuffie but didn't seem to be satisfied. Kept his arms out stretched, grabby hands hinting that he wanted to be picked up. Lafayette moved to Alex's side of the table, allowing the little to crawl into their lap. They were glad that they had driven to classes that day, it would make getting Alex home remarkably easier. They had one last class to attend before they were able to get the both of them home - Alex had finished all of his for that day. They were thankful that their professor let Alexander into his class anyway. 

Picking up the rest of their stuff and putting it away, they picked Alex up and started heading towards class 5 minutes early, hoping to get there before any other students. Texting Hercules and John about Alex's slip while juggling as much as they could. He would have to loosely inform Washington of the little predicament. Thankfully they were the first people to walk into the class. Washington was typing away at his computer, finishing off a sandwich. 

"Sir?" Lafayette attempted to grab his attention.

"Hello Lafayette. Give me a moment, I just need to finish this paragraph." Washington replied without removing his eyes from the screen he was working on. Sighing, they shifted Alex slightly to become more comfortable, turning to him to make sure that he was okay. Alex continued to babble to himself about what must've been important to the little, for he was very distant and focused on his babbling. 

Washington finally looked up from his computer, looking upon the scene in front of him, he opened his mouth the speak, before closing it, choosing a look that seemed to confuse the caretaker. He gestures for Lafayette to speak.

“Thank you sir. You see, Alex has slipped into a younger headspace due to past trauma and current stresses. We believe that he is about 2, maybe 3 at the moment. Is it alright if i look after him during your lesson?" Lafayette tried his best to explain to Washington in simple terms, so it makes some form of sense and so that he is able to understand - not that Lafayette ever thought that he was stupid. A look of understanding still graced his face, which continued to confuse them. It was only then that I Lafayette realised that Washington was at least acutely aware of what was happening. 

"That's completely fine Lafayette. Go home, I know how much hard work a little can be sometimes. Make sure you and your partners look after him for me." without a second thought about what his professor had told them, they had rushed out of the room with a quick "Merci!" From there they started their journey home.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An unexpected visitor.

Arriving home, Lafayette turned to the small boy sleeping next to him. He was hugging a miniature stuffie as close to his body as possible and had a green paci in his mouth that Lafayette had given him once they got to the car. After half a minute, they snapped out of the trance the cuteness of the little put them in and prepared to carry him inside. 

Getting up and moving over to pick up the little one, they made sure to also grab everything they needed: Alex’s computer bag, their computer bag and Alex’s little bag. The door opens before they had the chance to knock. Hercules stood there with a shocked and confused look on his face. 

“What is it mon amour?” Laf said with a hint of concern in his voice. 

“James is here.” Hercules answered with urgency.  
“Madison? Why is he here?” Lafayette was deeply confused. They were a social butterfly, making conversation with new people and gaining new friends quickly was something he was good at, yet they were never truly close to Thomas’s boyfriend.  
“Not Madison. Alex’s older brother, James.” James was supposed to visit the next week.

The trio headed towards the living room and there was James, as clear as day. He was sat there talking to John. He seemed to feel the trio walk in and turned around. Lafayette tried to hide Alex’s littleness, but before they could James was already walking towards them, a large smile on his face. 

“Aww, he seems to have slipped. How long have you guys known? He didn’t want me to tell you guys invade you lot left him.” James spoke casually. The lovers stood there shock out of their minds. James had known, obviously for awhile, and he had helped Alex hide it from them all. 

“We’ve known for about a week or two.” Hercules said in a state of disbelief. Lafayette went to change Alex into more comfortable clothing while their partners tried to make sense of the strange situation they had wormed their way into. Half way into him being change, Alex began to wake up.

Looking around in confusion as to why they were suddenly at home and why he was only half dressed, he began to whimper. Lafayette finished putting Alex’s legs in when they heard the small whimper. They started to make soothing noises in an attempt to calm Alex down. Alex seemed to reject the calm noises - even if they worked every other time - Alex started practically wailing, much to Lafayette’s dismay. 

A very short while later, they were both joined by everyone else in the house, thanks to Alex’s bizarre crying. Lafayette managed to fully dress him before James walked over and sat down next to the small boy, picking him up and putting him into his lap. He started to sing a lullaby type tune, but in a language the guys had never heard in depths before. Sure, they had heard Alex slip into Latin Spanish when he got stressed and needed to swear, but they had never heard it sound so sweet. Within seconds, Alex was calm and looking at James as if he had saved his life. 

The trio of partners stood there in a larger state of shock then they had been in before. None of them were truly able to understand what James was doing. James turned to look at the small group, yet he didn’t attempt to explain what he was doing, he continued to sing the soothing lullaby to Alex. 

Alex looked up at his partners, mailing grabby hands towards them all, signalling that he wanted their attention. John was the first on to walk over to the little and his brother, sitting down to hug up to him. Hercules was a close second. Lafayette remained fixed to their spot on the floor. They opened their mouth to speak, reevaluating what they were gonna day and quickly shut their mouth. Choosing exactly what they were going to say, they spoke up. 

“How long have you know about this?” James didn’t even look confused or shocked by the question.  
“I’d say...since Alex was 14, so about 9 years.” This was the most shocking thing the guys had heard for a while.  
“9 years!” John exclaimed. “He’s been doing this for 9 years..”  
“He’s probably been doing it for longer but I’ve been looking after him until you guys discovered it.” 

Alex seemed to whine at the lack of attention. John and James both moved to run their fingers through the Littles hair. The both of them seemed to realise the awkwardness of the situation so focused their attention to different parts of the little. John ran his fingers through Alex’s hair while James rubbed his stomach.


End file.
